Saturday, December 18, 2004

Merry Fucking Christmas

So, in fact, I do realize that it's been over a month since I've updated this thing. And, also, I remember saying on a few occasions, I was going to keep up with it. I'm a liar. I could make a New Year's Resolution to keep up with it, but that would indeed make it less likely that I would than if I hadn't said anything at all. Here's an update:
1) I have resigned/lost my job. I resigned because if I didn't, I was going to get fired. How do I know this? Because I was told.
2) I have spent the past two days throwing up and falling over from dizziness. I even threw up the syrup I bought from CVS (upon the suggestion of the Notoriously Nonchalant Asian Pharmacy Assistant) that's supposed to stop you throwing up. I even went to a job interview yesterday and threw up in their bathroom. Let me tell you, folks, if you want a good way to make a first impression, there's nothing like leaving a vomit-laden handprint on the bathroom floor. As way of comic relief, I got a "don't call us, we'll call you."
3) Christmas is almost here. And, once again, I am alone.
4) Rocky was neutered. That was fun. He was angry with me for 12 hours, then got over it.
5) Pipp has been cowering under the end table all day, in response to my bemoaning and wailing from pain.
6) Cricket is relatively unaffected by all the goings-on, but took the opportunity to share my saltines with me while I was trying to keep them down.
7) My apt is a complete and total mess. The bathroom door has given up just being non-functional, and progressed to completely falling apart. It's rather funny, actually - now I can see what a cheap door it was in the first place. It's hollow, and the cardboard on either side has seperated. The bathtub no longer drains. The tiles on the floor wobble. A few weeks ago, sick and tired of fixing my bed after it fell apart, I slept on the floor for a few days. Oh, oh! And, I haven't done my dishes in about three months.
8) I cried while watching figure-skating. There's got to be something wrong there. Either I'm premenstrual or turning into my mother.

There's got to be one good thing about all this, anyway - I'll be at least two pounds lighter after all this throwing up.